VPET: My idiot son

PRIVACY POLICY:(You probably don't have to read this)(Yes, We Both Know Why This Exists)Effective Date: Right now. You didn’t read the last one either.1. Opening StatementWelcome to the part where we’re legally required to explain what we do with your data, and you’re vaguely obligated to pretend to care.Let’s save us both some time.
We don’t collect your data.2. Information We Collect
None. Zero. Not even a little.To be unnecessarily thorough (because lawyers exist):We do not collect your name
We do not collect your location
We do not track your activity
We do not build a profile on you for future monetization schemesIf it’s personal information, we don’t have it.3. Information on Your DeviceThe app may store things locally on your device—like settings or preferences—because that’s how software works.Important points:It stays on your device
We cannot access it
We have no interest in accessing it
You can delete it whenever you feel like it:(c:\users\username\appdata\vpet)This is your data, living its best life, entirely outside our reach.4. Sharing Your Data
We don’t share your data with anyone.
Not advertisers, not analytics platforms, not “partners,” not even that one vague entity every policy calls a “trusted third party.”We would need to have data first. We don’t. However, if you log into third party services such as Google through this app, they may.5. Cookies & TrackingNo cookies. No trackers. No “anonymous usage insights.”We’re not watching you click things. We’re barely watching anything at all.6. Third-Party Services
If you choose to interact with third-party services through the app, those services may have their own privacy policies.We still don’t collect your data.7. SecuritySince we don’t store your data on any server, anywhere, there’s nothing for us to leak in a dramatic headline or “deeply regret” in a public apology.We highly recommend this strategy.8. Your RightsYou have complete control over your data because:You have it
We don’tIf you want to delete it, go ahead. No tickets, no forms, no “please allow 30 business days.”9. Changes to This PolicyIf this policy changes, it will likely be to:Fix wording
Adjust tone
Reconfirm that we still don’t collect your dataIf we ever do start collecting data (unlikely, but let’s keep this legally functional), we’ll update this and it will immediately become longer and far more annoying.10. ContactIf you have questions, you can try and contact us. You might find us, but it's highly unlikely.We won’t have any information about you, which may actually make this conversation simpler, but less productive.11. Closing RemarksWe’re required to have a privacy policy. Thanks Google APIs. You’re required to scroll past it.At least this one is honest:We don’t collect your data, we don’t store it, and we don’t share it.You can now return to whatever you were doing!
https://vpetz.carrd.co/#section01

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# Terms of Service(There Aren’t Really Any, But Here We Are Anyway)Effective Date: The moment you opened the app and saw the cat.---## 1. WelcomeCongratulations. You are using an application that places a cat on your desktop.That’s it. That’s the service.Despite this, we are apparently still required to provide “Terms of Service,” so here we are, doing our civic duty.---## 2. What We ProvideWe provide:* One (1) digital cat
* Said cat may move around
* Said cat may do things that cats do (within reason and code)
* Cat has some digital assistant functions but they're way less fun than the actual cat part of this app.
We do not provide:* Life advice
* Financial services
* Emotional support (though the cat may try)
* Any guarantees that the cat will respect your workflow## 3. Your ResponsibilitiesPlease:* Don’t use this app to break any laws
* Don’t attempt to weaponize the cat
* Don’t blame us if you get distracted watching it instead of workingThis is a very low bar. We believe in you.## 4. Acceptable UseYou agree not to:* Reverse engineer the cat for malicious purposes (but feel free to customize it via the assets folders - tell us if you do!)
* Use the app as part of any illegal, harmful, or deeply questionable activity## 5. AvailabilityWe make no promises that:* The cat will always behave
* The cat will always be present
* The cat will not occasionally do something weird due to codeIt’s software. Also, it’s a cat.## 6. LiabilityWe are not responsible for:* Missed deadlines caused by watching the cat
* Emotional attachment to the cat
* Any confusion when the cat appears to have a personalityUse at your own risk, which is minimal but technically non-zero.## 7. TerminationYou may stop using the app at any time by:* Closing it
* Deleting the files
* Deciding you have more important things to do (questionable, but allowed)We may also stop providing the app at any time, though that would be a bit dramatic for a desktop cat.## 8. Changes to These TermsIf we update these terms, it will likely be because:* Someone told us we had to
* We found a better way to say “don’t break the law”Enjoy the cat.

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